Deliberate Insanity
by LadyCulebra
Summary: It is a very dangerous thing when Draco Malfoy gets bored.


DISCLAIMER: I make no money from my writing. At all. I do not claim that Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, or even McGonagall are my creations in any capacity. I may make them do things, but I hold no illusions that they belong to me, nor should you.  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
Deliberate Insanity  
  
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy sat on opposite sides of the empty Transfiguration classroom, hunched over scrolls of parchment. Draco was shooting furtive glances at the other boy while Harry pointedly ignored them, scowling as he wrote furiously, quill dashing across the page.  
  
Draco gazed at the door as a mischevious smirk spread on his face; McGonagall wouldn't return for at least an hour. He stood and crossed the room to silently come up behind Harry, grey eyes glinting. If the dark- haired boy noticed, however, he made no indication of it, continuing to scribble on the parchment in front of him.  
  
Then, as though he were a cat with its prey cornered, Draco leaned down and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, nuzzling the boy's throat and nibbling slightly.  
  
With a growl, Harry shrugged the blonde away, not even bothering to turn his head to look at the other boy. Then he continued writing as though nothing had happened.  
  
Draco folded his arms, looking slighted. "This isn't fair!" he whined, moving in front of Harry. "I have needs you know! I demand-"  
  
Harry didn't even bother looking up from his work as he cut the other boy's sentence short, obviously not caring what he demanded. "Oh, shut up will you," he growled irritably.  
  
Draco lowered his head so that Harry would be forced to look at him. "How can I shut up when-"  
  
"When everything is your fault?" Harry offered helpfully, his eyes narrowed as he finally looked up at Draco.  
  
Draco's temper flared and he straightened up, staring down at Harry imperiously. "For your information, we wouldn't be where we are without you and your gawd damned ego!" he snarled, eyes flashing.  
  
Harry simply rolled his eyes and went back to his work. "Whatever." He could distinctly remember it being Draco who had instigated the situation, starting a fight with him in the corridors outside the Transfiguration classroom. Alright, so technically Draco had only bumped into him, but it had quickly escalated into an all-out tussle on the floor, the fight half- aggression, and half poorly disguised gropes. Needless to say, whatever they had been doing, McGonagall had not been pleased and had slapped them both with a week of detentions.  
  
"Don't you 'whatever' me!" Draco sniffed petulantly.  
  
"Whatever," Harry mumbled, eyes focused on his parchment, "just remember that whatever happens, I blame you."  
  
Draco sighed and decided to take a different approach. If he couldn't have fun with Harry in one way, he would have fun with him in another. Anything to avoid writing his Transfiguration essay, really. "You want something to drink?" he asked nonchalantly.  
  
Harry looked at Draco over the top of his glasses, regarding the boy with an expression of complete confusion. "What?"  
  
"Drink?" Draco asked slowly, one hand curling around an imaginary glass and lifting it to his lips as though he were gesticulating to a toddler. "You do drink, right?" He slowly began backing towards the door.  
  
"Uh, only when I don't want to die of dehydration, I guess," Harry answered hesitantly, wondering what Draco was up to.  
  
Draco's back bumped into the door. "Thought so." His hand closed around the doorknob. "I'll just go get something to drink then-"  
  
Harry was on his feet in an instant and he had crossed half the distance between them in the next. "You're not off the hook!"  
  
Draco pulled his hand away from the doorknob, his face a mimicry of innocence, as though he hadn't just been intending to yank open the door and run from the room. He put a finger to his lips thoughtfully, the only thing keeping his mouth from curling into a smirk. "I was on a hook?" he asked, eyes wide. "When? I don't remember being hung on a hook. Are you sure you got all your information correct?" he asked, prodding Harry's chest accusingly.  
  
Harry's face twisted into a vicious scowl. "Don't you dare pull that shit with me!" he growled, eyes narrowed. "I have much better things to do than be here arguing with you!"  
  
"Really?" Draco asked, his tone sounding as though he couldn't conceive of an activity more fun than arguing with him.  
  
"Yeah, I do," Harry sighed resignedly, gesturing towards his desk, where his scroll of parchment lay abandoned.  
  
Draco's eyes darted to the essay; he realized he was going to have to do something drastic to keep Harry distracted from his work. "Then why aren't you-" Draco broke off and pressed his ear to the door, eyes wide. "Did you hear that?" he hissed, pretending to listen to an imaginary sound on the other side of the door.  
  
"What?" Harry asked flatly, crossing his arms over his chest skeptically.  
  
"That noise-" Draco paused for effect, "that! There it was again!" His eyes darted to Harry's, and it took all his self-control not to burst out in laughter. "Didn't you hear it?"  
  
Harry was seriously beginning to doubt Draco's mental stability. "I didn't hear anything-" he began hesitantly, before he was cut off.  
  
"Don't say my name!" Draco cried out frantically, beginning to pace the room with what appeared to be anxiety.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"They might hear you," Draco whispered, coming up beside Harry and clutching at his sleeve.  
  
Harry shrugged the blonde away. "Who's 'they'?" He reached out to feel the boy's forehead. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"  
  
Draco pulled his head away from the other boy's touch. "Me? I'm fine," he said. Then he puffed out his chest boastfully. "I've got the immune system of a fox."  
  
Harry snorted at the reference to their long-time inside joke. Draco always insisted that if he were to become an Animagus, he would be a fox, while Harry would usually retort with some comment about a ferret that would cause a two-day fight that culminated in the most amazing make-up sex. "Maybe you should lie down or something," he suggested slowly.  
  
"I am lying down."  
  
Harry looked the blonde up and down skeptically. That statement had proven his suspicions that Draco was pulling his chain. He kept his face straight and decided to play along. "No, you're not."  
  
Draco quickly began pacing around the room furiously, his arms flailing wildly as he spoke. "And how would you know that? Are you me? Are you in my head? Can you see through my eyes? I thought not." He went to the window and opened it. Without looking at Harry, in order to shield his wide smirk from the other boy, he began climbing out of it.  
  
Harry folded his arms and stared at the back of Draco's blonde head calmly. "Where are you going?"  
  
Draco sat on the windowsill, his legs dangling out. "You suck," he pouted. "I'm going home."  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow, and his lip twitched. ".but I thought 'they' were out to get you?"  
  
Draco faltered for a second, before he scrambled back into the room and slammed the window shut. His eyes darted around the room like those of a caged animal. "Curses! Trapped in my own territory."  
  
Harry's expression was deadpan, though inwardly he was trying valiantly to control the laughter that was threatening to escape. "You don't have your own territory," he pointed out.  
  
"I could have my won territory," Draco argued petulantly.  
  
"But you don't."  
  
"Curses," Draco hissed, his brain working quickly. "They're always one step ahead of me." He realized Harry was catching on to his ruse, and if he didn't come up with something quickly, he was going to lose him.  
  
"I know," Harry sighed, growing weary of Draco's antics. "Now sit down and quit trying to get out of-"  
  
"NEVER!" Draco shouted, leaping onto a desk. "I shall never succumb to the evil forces that are trying to take over my brain!" He pointed a shaking finger down at Harry. "They may have brain-washed you into doing their evil work, but they will not succeed in taking over my brain!!"  
  
Harry stared up at Draco, shock on his face, until an expression of derision and barely-disguised amusement settled there. "How in their right mind would want to take over your brain?" he snorted.  
  
Draco hesitated, breathing heavily from his outburst. After a minute, he replied, "There are people."  
  
"No there aren't," Harry retorted. Then his eyes narrowed, and his tone became irritated. "Now would you please just sit down and write the freakin' paper?"  
  
Draco lowered himself to the floor and ran a hand through his hair in a half-hearted attempt to straighten it; it had become hopelessly mussed up in his fervor. He stared at Harry, a kicked-puppy look in his grey eyes. "You're no fun."  
  
"And you're crazy." Harry stared at Draco appraisingly, one eyebrow raised. "Did you really think I was going to believe a word that came out of your mouth?"  
  
A pause. "You almost did."  
  
Harry snorted. "No, I didn't." He went back to his desk and shot Draco a look that clearly said, 'Sit your ass down and write, and I'll make it worth your while later.'  
  
With a resentful sigh, Draco went back to his own desk and stared down at the pitiful amount he'd written. "Bugger."  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
A/N: This ficlet was written for the Veela Inc. Mixed Doubles Challenge. The dialogue for this fic was written by Aetheria, and I simply moulded the story around her genius. So if you like this, it's probably more her doing than mine. 


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